My Problem Came Back! Why did the Healing Fail?

Four Common Questions about “Healing Failures”

… And why these are the wrong questions to ask.

About once a week, a disappointed person emails me to ask some version of this question: “Why didn’t the Healing work?”

Scroll down for the questions… and answers, which I hope will heal & inspire you!

First, let’s put this in perspective: these occasional questions are only a very small fraction of the many emails I get each week, about how great it worked!

But still, this nagging question, “Why doesn’t it always work?” must be answered… because we ALL ask it sometimes.

Yep, even me. On rare occasions, I still find myself whining “What happened? I’m the damn expert, I should be able to heal this stupid problem instantly.” Then I catch myself, and say:

“Snap out of it, Elma! Go to your F#@k!%* Center… Now!”

So if you have ever wondered “Why Doesn’t the Healing Always Work?”… you’re not alone! Please scroll down and discover why this is the wrong question!

Love and Wholeness,
Elma
PS – What do you think? Scroll to the bottom and post your comment!


The Questions

These are real questions from real people, slightly edited to keep them short.

Question 1: “Why do I get only temporary results?”

“I find great relief for a little while, but then my emotional pain keeps resurfacing more intensely. I don’t know how to stop recirculating the pain, even with all this [Now Healing] work. Why won’t it stick?”

Answer: There are two issues going on here.

a. Your assumptions about healing are limiting your acceptance of healing. When you assume that temporary results are not enough… you are actually rejecting healing. Stop biting the hand that heals you!

You do realize that the underlying assumption here is a bit absurd, right? (“It’s only really true healing if it’s total and complete removal of pain. Anything less is an abject failure!)

Reframe your interpretation that “only” temporary results are a problem.

>> Instead of “Problem”… notice “Progress.” Even if you “only” get small steps in the right direction, acknowledge the “right direction,” not the “only.” Stop looking back at the problem, and look forward at the path of healing! (In the movies, the folks that look backwards are the ones that get eaten by the marauding monster!)

b. The “Problem” is that you’re focusing on “Problems.” Don’t compound the original problem (for instance, emotional pain) with yet another problem (that healing is only temporary.)

Don't Focus on What Hurts - Now Healing

Focus on what heals you.

Stop noticing only “what’s wrong.”

Instead… notice the larger field of Healing.

This is one of the most “healing” things you can do!

The simple awareness of this larger field of healing… creates instant connection to more healing!

When you focus on the field of “problems” you are energizing and amplifying what you do not want.

So… Focus on something better.

But how??? If you’re in pain, how do you stop focusing on the pain?
Well, I’ll tell ya…


Mood-Mind-Elevator-Now-Healing-Elma-MayerPause for a brief commercial interruption! Cut to Alpine scenery, roll uplifting music and sultry celebrity voiceover… “Here’s how to stop focusing on what’s wrong, and focus on Healing instead. It’s quick and easy, when you use my Mood & Mind Elevator program. I know it works… because I designed it to heal folks like me, who are fantastic at focusing on what’s wrong!”

Fade out from commercial. Back to the questions…


Question 2: “What happened to the Alignment?”

“I tried the Free Alignment for my jaw clenching and it worked for a week. But then the problem came back. What happened to the Alignment?”

Ironic Answer: What happened to the hug you gave your kid this morning? Why didn’t it last?

And what happened to the breath you took 10 seconds ago? Why didn’t it work? Why do you keep needing to do it again and again?

Forgive my loving irony. I get it, really. I know what it’s like to think “Gee, I thought I had this issue handled already. But nooooo. It’s baaaaack.”

Nicer Answer: There’s a wonderful paradox at work here…

Healing can manifest in two different and seemingly opposite ways:

1. Instant healing & “quantum leap connection” to Wholeness. Sometimes one single Alignment gives you the results you want, forever. But sometimes it doesn’t! Don’t waste your time worrying about why. Instead,  just keep workin’ it, baby! Because sometimes you need….

2. Ongoing waves of change & re-patterning.. always flowing into more and more Wholeness… Because life is a constant process of regeneration, a dynamic flow of healing, learning… and evolution.

And sometimes these two opposites happen simultaneously! If you only allow yourself to perceive one part of the paradox, then you are limiting yourself! You are an evolved human that can hold more than one idea at a time…

So please, use the power of this paradox to expand your awareness, rather than to shut down in a feedback loop of “Either/Or” materialist duality.

A fun analogy is the wave-particle duality: light is both a point AND a pattern, even though those states seem mutually exclusive.

And Now Healing is both an instant quantum leap, and a flow forward.


Question 3: Why is the healing not working? Am I sabotaging it?

Answer:  This is the wrong question. Asking “why is it not working” or “what am I doing wrong” is a misdirection. Because even if you get an accurate answer… it is not a “healing” answer. In fact, the answer will make it worse, because it amplifies the field of the problem.

The solution: Ask a better question!

Here are four examples of GOOD questions that will actually start the flow of healing:

i. “What has already shifted?” Notice what is different, not what is the same. Did you take a slower, fuller breath? Did you sigh or sneeze? Do the colors around you look a bit brighter? In Now Healing, when you do an Alignment, your energy ALWAYS shifts. (And even if you did don’t notice anything different right away… don’t worry! Because often, the energy shifts are beyond our local awareness.) So… be non-attached to whether your results are large or small. Keep tuning in to what else might be improving in other areas of your life because of these shifts. And most important: Don’t keep looking back at what has not changed, and being disappointed – Don’t amplify the field of the problem!

ii. “What is the most important thing I can do right now, today, to start healing this?” Because sometimes you have to get off your butt and actually take action! But don’t take just any old action… Only take Aligned Action! Get Centered. Get Aligned with your Infinite Self. Then… you’ll receive true guidance that will best heal you.

iii. “What aspect of my self (or body, or mind, or energy, or time, or space, etc) would most benefit if I did a quick ‘Alignment with Wholeness’ on it?” (Actually do a quick “Alignment with Wholeness” on whatever pops into your awareness – even if it makes no logical sense!)

iv. And the best question of all: “Where is the larger field of healing and life force? Wherever it is, I Align with it… Now!” Again, because… a simple “awareness of Wholeness” is enough to create instant connection to Wholeness.

So… notice how your healing results TRULY improve, when you start asking better questions in this manner.


Question 4: “How can I make the shifts permanent?”

Answer: Loud buzzer sound! Wrong question! It will give you a very unsatisfying answer.

If you focus on “permanent healing”, it naturally follows that you will be disappointed.

Because… Healing is change. It requires ongoing regeneration and self-correction. It is not a permanent, fixed state.

How can you really make anything permanent? Except maybe a never-decaying McDonald’s Hamburger – and that’s just yucky.

Even the most basic, material, tangible things in life – food, clothing, shelter – are impermanent. And the less tangible things, like relationships, opinions, interests, and ideas… they all transform over time.  Minds change. Matter does not keep its form forever Energy flows and ebbs. Even the soul evolves.

So why expect any different from healing, and from life itself? Even Wholeness is not static. It too evolves, becoming ever more itself.

Don’t try for permanence. Go for flow, instead!

How? Practice a pattern, and gain “morphic momentum” to move you forward.


In Conclusion, Here’s a Powerful Pattern to Practice:

1. Stop over-focusing on “What’s Wrong” and what “Didn’t Work.”

If you are not satisfied with your healing result…

Don’t jump to the wrong conclusion – that the “Healing Failed.”

Take a leap into Wholeness, instead!

If a musician goes to play her guitar and finds that it’s out of tune, she wouldn’t think, “Oh no, my instrument is out of tune, I give up. Music doesn’t work!” You see how silly that is, right?

Same goes for the assumption that “healing doesn’t work” just because there’s still more to heal.

Healing is always happening. There’s always more to heal, and more Wholeness to Align with… because it’s infinite! That’s Life.

2. Keep Tuning Yourself Up

You are a complex instrument. And yes, you need to tune yourself up. Often.

Sure, you could live your life without ever tuning up, consciously. But pretty soon, it wouldn’t be pretty. Just like if a musician never tuned – it could work for a little while, but it would soon be cacaphony.

So it is with self-healing and self-repair.

(Fortunately, you do tune up in your sleep. And your body has many other automatic re-tuning processes. But it’s even better when you do it deliberately.)

So keep tuning up.
Tune yourself to Infinite Self.
Tune yourself to Wholeness.
Tune yourself to the qualities that you love to broadcast, like love or peace or eagerness or excitement or calm or the receptive mode.

Tune yourself to do specific daily tasks like Aligning with a work project, or Aligning with decluttering, or Aligning with going on a picnic with your family, or Aligning with healing for your left knee.

The bottom line, in three easy bullet points:

  • Stop focusing on what’s wrong.
  • Start focusing on what heals you, not what hurts you. Expand your awareness out, to the larger field of Healing and Wholeness.
  • Keep tuning yourself up… to Align with Wholeness… every day!

Please Comment Below!

Did this article give you a nice noodge into healing?

Or are you still caught in the loop of “Healing Doesn’t Work for Me!” even after you tried my advice? (Make sure to give it an actual try – because these tips are not just wishful thinking. You have to actually DO them.)

But first.. another word from our sponsors:

Do you want huge, helpful hand-holding and guidance…
on HOW to find – and focus on – that larger field of Healing?

The Mood & Mind Elevator will give you a loving shove… kindly kicking your butt… so that you

Stop “Tuning yourself to negativity” and
Start Tuning UP… to Joy & Inspiration…
No matter what is going on around you or inside you.


Comments

  1. sharleen says:

    Thank you. I needed to be reminded. Healing is change. Center and balancing.

  2. F, Meunier says:

    You are Awesome Elma! you are truly Amazing.
    Thanks so much. Blessings to you!

  3. Infinite Appreciation

  4. Emilia Motyka says:

    Fantastic explanation about an important topic. Thankyou. I loved the ‘commercial interruption’. Brilliant 🙂 Aim for “flow forward”instead of Permanence: Adjust the questions; Notice little improvements; Folks that look backwards put themselves at risk; Focus on what heals or on something Better. Tune self daily(as a musician would do with an instrument). I found this exceptionally helpful in many ways. Awesome Elma! 🙂

  5. Irina Kotzabaldiris says:

    It is very helpful. I am feeling love, connection, energy and motivation.
    The humor makes me smile and the text has a rhythm and a flow that makes me feel so close to you.

  6. I just love you Elma, you are so funny….
    Go to your F#@k!%* Center… Now!” … LMAO

  7. Georgina Murphy says:

    Keep going your doing wonders ☺

  8. Your at it again Elma, Making me laugh and read fast , coughing me guts up…..But i agree it all makes a difference , focus on what’s shifting and getting better NOT whats not working

    Just keep em coming Elma Me ol darlin love and wholenwess Ricky

  9. We all want healing to be simple. But sometimes it’s just not. When healing doesn’t stick, I always start with a couple of things. First, did I go back far enough? What was my first experience that started this pattern? Was it my personal experience, or did I observe this in others that I cared about as in, for example, a child watching how its parents treat each other? Another possibility is caveats. For example, one is hurt in a relationship. This one wants to let it all go and move on. This one does the healing but it doesn’t stick. Possible reason? A caveat. Example: I may have this one make a statement to test for how true it is. The statement may be… “It’s not OK with me to let him off so easily because he doesn’t deserve it”. So we might look for a hidden grudge. Or we might simply release “It’s not OK…” or “He doesn’t deserve it”, etc. Sometimes healing is not as simple as we want it to be. But with a little more effort, we can find the nugget that will break up a stubborn pattern and make healing permanent.

  10. I just love your sense of humor, Elma! Thank you for the giggle-wrapped wisdom. 🙂

  11. Jane Gough says:

    Your awesome, great work.

  12. Esperansa says:

    Very helpfu! I am inspired to do what you just said and keep aligning!

  13. Antonette Mullis says:

    I was shopping a few weeks ago and suddenly felt bad. I aligned with my center and I instantly felt better.
    I couldn’t believe it! Just have to remember to center when you are in a crisis. Thank you so much, Elma and God bless you!

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